What I Have Learned About Helping People
I started my life coaching journey last July 2018. Looking back, there were a lot of things that I have learned that opened my eyes about helping people.
The first thing I have learned is, change begins within ourselves. Throughout my coaching journey, I have realised that every one of us wants to change everything around us, but we forget to look within ourselves.
I have always thought that if I could change my husband, then we can have a better marriage. Or if I can let my work be “easier”, then I can be more stressed free.
But I was wrong. Trying to change things beyond my control does not help at all.
When I begin to respond more and be open with my husband, he became more responsive and open also.
When I begin to look at what’s great about my work, my work became a lot easier.
There’s a wonderful saying within the coaches industry that says, “Perception is Projection.’
Which means that how we see others is how we see ourselves. Most of our perception of others is influenced by our personal beliefs.
If we want to change others then, we must first change our perception and look within ourselves first.
We have to be at “cause” in our lives than being at the “effect.” When we are at cause, you can accept that you are the problem, but you will come to accept that you are also the solution.
And only then you will realise that change always begins in you first.
The second thing I have learned is that we receive what we give.
Whenever I coach someone, the energy and commitment I give to them is also the energy and commitment I receive from them.
Even outside coaching people, the energy and vibration I have are always reflected back to me.
And I feel the same towards other people. I have noticed that whenever my husband and I go to this bakery in Epping, the owner of the bakery always smiles at us. And even if she’s not saying a word yet, once we step inside her bakery, there’s this wonderful energy I feel.
I feel her sincerity towards us and I feel her passion towards her business. And when I speak to her, I feel her positive energy that makes me want to buy a bread right away.
Life is said to be an exchange of energy. It can be in the form of service, in the form of money, in the form of emotion, in the form of a feeling.
Whatever that exchange of energy is, if you’ll throw anger, resentment and hurt, you’ll be receiving the same. If you’ll throw and give money to whatever purpose, it will also return to you in some shape or purpose.
So, what I am trying to say here? Give what you want to receive and learn to give what’s good for yourself.
The third thing is results happen if you give yourself 100% commitment to change.
I have one client who was very committed to empower her life and live abundantly. She was very motivated at the first two to three sessions of our coaching.
Unfortunately, on the fourth and fifth session, I saw that she was not doing her action plan and was not showing up.
If you want to be a Gold Medalist, you cannot just practice on days you feel motivated. If you want to be Michael Phelps, you have to motivate yourself every day to swim and practice. You have to focus on your goal and keep on improving yourself.
Unfortunately, most people think that coaches are magicians who can make you hold a magic wand that would make your life a paradise in just one wave. Here’s the truth, life is not a fairy tale, and change requires hard work.
Throughout my coaching journey, my clients who had RESULTS and EMPOWERMENT did not just give their 100%, they were committed, decisive, they took action, and they were fully invested. And because they have allowed themselves to trust me as their coach and to trust their process. Most especially, to trust themselves that they CAN. They have succeeded.
Lastly, I have learned that fulfilment comes from service.
One person asks me before, why do I love coaching people? And the only thing I can think about is this; I love seeing people succeed. The fulfilment and joy of seeing others achieve what they want are priceless.
Even before I was a life coach, we had a lot of training that involved coaching each other. It’s priceless to see the faces of the people I am coaching. Whenever they face light up, whenever they feel empowered and whenever they tell me, Thank You, it’s heaven.
And just the same, I have also been coached a lot of times, and that’s the reason why I know coaching transforms lives.
I had always thought before that my life was just living for myself. I have also said to myself before that I will just be contented to work full time, go home and build a family and be a good wife.
But I would be lying to myself. I was scared to death to admit that I know deep down I wanted to be MORE and I wanted to INSPIRE more because I know I can. It would be a sin, and it would be selfish. So selfish for me to keep something for myself when I know I can do more.
And I followed that dream. And I am still on that path. And whatever it takes, I will stay in this path.
Because the one final lesson I have learned in helping people is this:
There is no greater joy than the joy of living your life knowing you made a difference in someone else’s life.
I hope this article inspired and motivated you. If you have something to say, feel free to comment below. I love healthy discussions and exchange of ideas.
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About the Author:
My name is Jennifer Letran. I am a Results and a Clarity Coach and my coaching system are based on Values and Authenticity. If you want to know more about my coaching style and how I am helping others in transforming their lives click here.